Due to the following update, the post expected today will be delayed until tomorrow.
This whole piece began last week when I “went live” over grave concern about my son, Evan’s health. Actually, I knew if I didn’t do something to avoid fear and panic, it would hit me hard. The posts all last week were a constant reminder of the truth, keeping me grounded and at peace most of the week. I’m grateful to God for His Word and presence.
Finally, I have news! Yesterday afternoon I received a call that Evan’s blood work is normal. My first words were, “Thank you Jesus!”
I will boast only in the Lord;
let all who are helpless take heart.
3 Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;
let us exalt his name together.
4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears. Psalm 34:2-4 (NLT)
The doctor thinks the dip in his blood work was caused by a stomach flu he was experiencing. I’m relieved, although I marvel at the events which, when looking back, puzzle me greatly, and are still affecting me emotionally.
As it turned out, Evan’s appointment was with the same cancer specialist that treated my husband’s cancer. I wasn’t aware of that ahead of time, so when I got to the office and discovered that the hematologist was a cancer specialist, and the specialist that had treated Norman, I did freak inside a bit. I called my mom and had her pray, as I didn’t want to be in that state when Evan arrived. He’d never been to that office before and I didn’t want him to be alarmed by my reactions.
I was also quite concerned that someone might recognize me and say something in front him. I don’t think Evan was aware, as I wasn’t, that he was seeing a cancer specialist. There were a couple of comments made, in spite of me trying my best to keep that from happening. But as long as I maintained, Evan took things in stride.
Nothing is a coincidence, as my heavenly Daddy holds all my days. Seeing these sites has brought back many emotions and memories. So I wonder, “Was this orchestrated to this be part of my healing”?
I’m learning that in healing deep wounds, sometimes the Lord must take us back in some way or other to the moment pain was first experienced. He does this in order to bring to the surface feelings and sometimes lies that still entrap us, so he can clean out the space in our souls, bind the wound, and begin the healing before we try to hide the pain once again.
“Lord, I know that you are continuing to work inside me to heal and make whole. Do your work – I trust your goodness, even as I feel the pain once again. Should any be reading who are also experiencing that same old pain they’d rather “forget”, please minister to their souls. Your grace and love are so lavishly intimate – you know how best to heal. Thank you that Evan is better than okay. Thank you for taking care of my “boy”. And thank you that Norman is safe with you and no longer in the pain he was experiencing when last seen by the doctor. In Jesus’ name, amen.”