In time, God can heal the grief of losing a loved one – turning great sorrow into a beautiful song!
Today would have been my deceased husband, Norman’s 59th birthday. He’s been gone now for just over 8 years.
As I think on this anniversary of sorts, I marvel at the works inspired by the grand love of an amazing God since my best friend left me!
The last 8 years have been some of my most difficult, yet also some of the grandest for getting a magnified view of the character of God.
With every tear and anguish, he has made himself not only known, but felt. He has been so close that I can sense the pressure of his touch to my fingers, and the warmth and smell of his breath as he has spoken peace over my troubled heart and mind.
I am learning that I won’t make the time, or put the energy into the effort to yield and listen and follow my heavenly Father without such painful interventions into my world. My agenda, my control won’t allow his sovereignty on its own. My self centered heart must be captivated. Yet, to begin to experience the beauty of his captivity, and to have the God of the universe pay such close attention to me, with such grace and healing love, now begins to enthrall me.
Only as I begin to quiet and listen with my soul to his Holy words, spoken from his heart to mine, can I begin to realize that the things I fought to maintain control of, in fact only controlled and destroyed me.
God’s captivity, thus frees rather than chains me.
In the last eight years God has protected me from my own foolish choices, and has also blessed me with gifts I am still learning how to unwrap. I have been blessed with a husband I now call best friend. He is kind and thoughtful, and we are becoming all God has made us for, through the joys and the sorrows of the good life we share. God has extended my family with two sons. Our story together has only begun, and God is using our struggles in becoming a family to reveal more of his grand character to me.
God has held and kept my son, even with the severity of his autism and personal pain through the many losses he has endured, even before losing his dad. He is growing and maturing more than most thought he ever would.
I have so much to be thankful for as I look back on this anniversary. Thank you, Lord Jesus for these amazing reminders. Thank you for the opportunity to begin to see a grander scheme encompassing the pain! God, you are amazing!
For any who may be struggling with the death of a loved one, GriefShare is an amazing organization full of amazing people who have been where you are, and who can walk with you through this time. If you would also like to share with me, I’d be very glad to listen and pray with and for you.
With love and prayers,
p.s. You may also wish to read: White Picket Fences and I Do Matter