Day 5 of “Fighting Fear”
First of all, a heartfelt thank you to all who have prayed and given encouragement the last week. How blessed I am! 🙂 Unfortunately I still have no news!
Last Thursday morning as I sat in my Bible study, knowing that Evan’s doctor’s appointment was only hours away, I suddenly began to feel panic rising within me – and there was nothing I could do to stop it’s ugly head appearing after so long an absence. I couldn’t stop it’s appearance, but I’ve learned over the years how to more effectively keep it from escalating.
The things I had written all week weren’t theory. And rehearsing these truths over and over again all week truly strengthened me. I began to learn the power of the truths I shared last week 8 years ago.
About 6 months before Norman’s death, I began to experience anxiety attacks, unaware at first what was happening. I was never given the luxury of a warning. Day or night, I’d sense a sudden rush of adrenaline followed by lightening bolts and fireworks coursing through my body at speeds that made me want to jump out of my skin and run. The more I fought the rising emotion, the worse it became. I felt so hopeless!
The first time I realized Jesus could help, I had just pulled into a Target parking lot, was about to open the door, when wham – “it” began. As the cycle of panic ramped up, I heard the preacher on the radio calmly begin the story of Jesus fast asleep in a boat, as his disciples fought to keep the boat upright in a fierce storm. In their panic, they awoke Jesus. “Master, aren’t you concerned we’re going to drown?” Surprisingly, Jesus chided them for their lack of faith, then spoke peace to the storm, and all became suddenly calm. The preacher then said something I’ll never forget.
“Jesus was in the boat with them, so they didn’t have to fear the storm. They only needed to ride out the waves.”
This statement began my training in learning to “ride out the waves” of panic and anxiety. Over the next several years, I learned the things I shared last week, finding greater and greater victory as time elapsed. I have also learned other needed tools to ride out the waves.
We are made up of soul, body, and spirit – and every aspect of our being is greatly effected by stress. So, this week, as I continue to go “live” in dealing with concerns about Evan’s health and my need to overcome fear, I’ll share how I’m learning to “ride the waves” as I provide what is needed for my physical body and my soul.
Tomorrow, I will share some things I am learning about the effects of excessive stress on the body, and how the Lord used this knowledge to keep those feelings of panic last Thursday from moving into a full blown panic attack. I am certainly not a medical practitioner, so anything I say is solely from my personal experience.
Please join me. I would love to hear how you have successfully dealt with anxiety, since we all deal with it throughout life.
p.s. If you felt last week like I just don’t get where you are in your journey, I’m so sorry. I hope that this week helps!