Have you ever had one of those days or weeks or months when you feel like life is a losing battle? Me too. This past weekend seemed like that, until I stopped long enough this morning to ask the Lord what was going on. I soon got an answer, and the day is going better. But life and battles are rarely that easy.
As I thought about the struggles within this past weekend, and about this post, I was reminded of a battle about 3 years ago, culminating in a late night where wars raged more inside than out.
I was a fairly new step mom, and the boys and I weren’t doing very well adjusting to each other. The normal new blended family issues, personalized for us. This particular night, the war inside me waged severely. My feelings for the boys at that moment were explosive, but I had no clue how to change things. Those feelings had been building for many months, and I saw no end in sight. I was helpless on my own.
I knew I couldn’t sleep. My thoughts desperately wanted to keep replaying why I had a right to feel as I did. Fear for my interests and hatred from rejection pounded mortars through my mind and body. After-shocks of anxiety ripped through me. Yet through the noise, I kept hearing the Holy Spirit not so gently demanding, “Yield to me, Robin”.
Finally, my abilities failing greatly, I cried, “Okay, God. I can’t keep doing this. I yield.” And I meant it! Literally, within seconds, the battle ceased, and peace settled like the silence after a hurricane.
To win the battle, I must be able to distinguish my allies from my enemies.
My ally is always God and his will. Because he is for us.
The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life. John 10:10 (NLT – Jesus speaking)
At that moment, my greatest enemy was my own emotions, and the enemy of my soul who bombarded me with fear, anxiety, and hatred to keep me wrapped tightly in chains.
Yet in the middle of the onslaught, I was having a hard time distinguishing friend from foe, and in reality was getting the two mixed up. It’s easy to do when emotions are high.
Ever been there? Ever spent all your energy praying and fighting and trying to convince someone else, or change something else, only to find yourself spent trying to fix it alone?
Yet with 2 short words, “I yield”, God began to move. Peace overcame the barrage, and slowly. Carefully. Strategically things within and around me began to change, by God’s grace and power.
Is life all rosy now? No way. Is it better? Yes in many ways. And, I haven’t had a night like that since. God is working.
The Bible describes yielding moments by saying,
“The fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.” Proverbs 9:10 (NLT)
This week we will continue to look at the issue of ‘Perspective’, in regards to how to “Fight to Win” by embracing God as our greatest ally. I’d love to hear your stories – for I can’t do this alone!